— The only failure is not being prepared to fail — Meg(gy) Stuart

“Ideas about being right or wrong, especially in such a subjective area as aesthetics can be hard to change. Especially when you’re trying to change your belief that a right or a wrong exists at all”

Warming Up:

I looked for a routine. It was worthless. As I’m planning, I’m already bored and trying to find ways out of it. Ways out of my own planning! It’s not necessarily lack of discipline. I’m plenty interested in training, being fit, and awakening body-awareness. I’d like to fine-tune my movement qualities and play more in the risk-taking areas. Yet, the way to do that for me is not a routine, 45min warm-up before I start my day. The way to have a good relationship with my body is getting inspired by it everyday. Listening to the tight parts, the loose parts, where the blood is flowing and how the energy can generate on this particular day. Each day is different and the training should represent that.

I did an assessment the first two days:

What are my Desires? What am I Resisting? What are my Strengths? What are my Weaknesses? And lastly, taking a Body Inventory.

Naturally, I didn’t keep it up. (Because otherwise that would be routine!) None-the-less, it helped me look at my body and mind objectively and get me outta my head and into something three dimensional. I will keep this in my tool box for when I feel stuck.

CLOUD Day 1: What is your perception and understanding of TIME & SPACE ?

What is your relation to  S E N S A T I O N  &   P E R C E P T I O N ?

I started with these questions. blank pages to answer, things to discover over the days, to ponder over these grandiose ideas.

Why do we M O V E?

How do we S H A R E this experience with others, our collective selves and the spectator?

What is  Y O U R   D I S C I P L I N E?

Day One Aims: Gathering information and resources. Define direction of residency. Follow personal creativy and interest. A Day for Duration:

  • 100 breaths
  • 20 sun salutations
  • 7 minutes of heaven
  • 1:20 hour moving, in relation to space and the music
  • 15 minute transformation of one gesture

Then I asked myself: What is the logical next step? vs. What is the intuitive next step?

You know what step I took? Nothing. There was an overwhelming intimidation from the size of the room, frozen movement, unclarity in why I should move and for what purpose.

I found the window and I found my voice. This gave me structure. Gave me a direct audience (myself in relation to what was outside the window).

— I looked for something to relate to: music, another performer, time, space (was too big!) viewer

— I found the window (to the outside world) and my own voice. I was relation to my thoughts and some perceptions that came through the window

— My voice revealed a lot. I choose how to relation to myself and my artist self by verbally communication.

— To a degree, this might be possible in silence, yet by speaking out loud, I left my own head.

— Durational Endurance is good. It does allow layers to unfold

— I am discovering myself. It is ok and g r e a t  that I take this time.

— I am not yet ready to bring others into the practice. Time to meet myself…

How far is too far?

Ivo Dimchev is a name that I am only familiar with since this summer. He performed two solo’s of his own creation at Impulstanz in Vienna. I was unable to attend the performances, but colleagues of mine we did spoke very highly about it.

In fact I was so curious that I had them explain the piece, bit by bit, to me. And it sounded grotesque, over-the-top, self-indulgent, and a vile piece of theater. Still the reviewers were thrilled, the audience was enchanted, and no one seemed to mind that Dimchev went too far.

So, when his piece I-Cure came to Rotterdam, I decided to see for myself. And it was captivating! His semi-drag queen character was as real as any and his dedication to the emotional journey he traversed through the course of the evening drew me in intensely. My gaze was stuck on his image and the beautiful humanity of ‘over-the-top’.

Watch for yourself. But just think his personality, his authenticity, and his commitment is that much more powerful on stage.

Is it over the top?

His transitions and development was seamless and the trust he gained from the audience allowed him to go to these places. I feel actually that he could have gone farther…. We were prepared.